What Friendship means........ Over the years!

Isn't it fascinating how one perceives life as one grows older! It goes without saying that friends form an integral part of our lives and some even say that friends make us what we are. I kinda agree with it. So who is a friend? Or rather whom can we refer to as a friend? Even though the question appears simple, the answer is immeasurably difficult. We have a lot of perceptions or predefined notions of who or rather what a friend should be. We always see in our friends either the qualities we personally do not possess or simply some of the qualities which we possess. In some cases it may be because some people have a certain aura about themselves which draws us towards them. Whatever may be the reason we tend to choose people who share similar interests.
Now let me just jog back in the memory lane to a time when we were just kids. Did we look at all these before befriending someone? No obviously not! The person sitting next to us would have been our friends in school or at home probably the one next door or another kid in the park. We were unselfish and were not prejudiced or in any which way influenced by anyone on our decisions to befriend someone. I would say unselfish is the pick of the words and i will substantiate my claim later in the post.
When we were say 10 years old, we began to look for attributes that defined a friend. We always looked at people who glorified us as friends. Very few at this age would be mature enough to look into the depths of friendship. People who thought we were cool or people who were in many ways similar to our ways of life became our best friends. We never really thought about the character of the person. The feeling to be 'in' the gang or to be seen with cool people are all that mattered!
As we grew up into more evolved and conscious beings, we began to search for the genuineness in a person. We began to evaluate people on some notions which we thought should be ideal in a friend. We began to search for those characteristics that besotted us, those we thought we lacked or those that are wooed by most of the people. We began to see the person as a commodity- one that values us and one that we value!
Now at 20, i feel that my search for the meaning of friendship is as close to me as is alpha centauri to earth. The ever elusive phenomenon now holds a complex and more sophisticated meaning that makes me nostalgic of the time when the person next to me was my friend! We have become more selfish, more adamant and more perspective in our evaluation of friends. In this world of competition and business orientation, all we seek from people is our growth. We are always seeking for choices which would be centered around us. It is not the question of 'Am i a true friend?' It's the question of 'Is this person a true friend?' As the law says, there can be no reaction without any action. We ought to let people know that we care! Yes, its time we moved beyond our ego centric and evaluating self to a pasture where there is true love and understanding. We always look for persons with whom we can share our thoughts with without the fear of being put to shame or being laughed at. We are more afraid to tell it to our so called friends as we are fragile. We fear that the same selfishness exists in the other person. This situation of mutual mistrust is more prevalent today.
There might be a few lucky ones who might disagree with my line of views. They may feel that they have the best of friends. Its so very true! Each one of us is blessed to look at life as we want it to be! We might look for certain things in a person; the one who might qualify as a friend to the other might not be the same for me. But having said that, one must ask themselves this one question, 'Why do i think that this particular person is my best friend?' There might be positives and negatives but one cannot discard the fact that the subtle hint of selfishness is the reason why we are their best friends!